Keep Holding On

I know I wanted to write something but I don't know how to start. I can't find the right words to say , I am caught with nothing to type but I know I want to say something. Well let me say , Hi! I am new into this blogging thing. I just wanted to start here because I wanted to explore another skill. currently, I am a bum for 2 years already. I really wanted to work in  Philippine Government setting but seems like NO ONE wants to accept me. I am a Board Passer and a Sub Prof. Civil Service Passer but seems like people who would interview me has less confidence in me. THAT HURTS , you know? I know I have something to give and something to share in terms of skills but they seem to underestimate me because I finished a course that is under Pre-Med. My experiences does not meet their required standard . They couldn't appreciate the fact that I was able to jump from different scope of work and was able to graduate in a prestigious school without liking my course at first. Anyway, my regrets does not stop there. Being a Bum equates to having NO MONEY most of the time. I am in this period of life where I think God wanted to punish me, to teach me some things about reality of life. My life has been full of UP,SIDE,DOWN problems . I thought about having a perfect life but things change when 2013 started. I was able to enter in a Multi-National Companies though under Agencies by being in a field and office setting. I am just an average worker usually full of anxieties , then in a personal matter I had to support my parents when my father stopped sailing , well he was a Seaman, an Officer. We used to have good life till our world shaken. It was in the year 2018 when the world started giving me a tool to have luxurious life but I still had to support my Mother due to her sickness but at the same time I lost my last job. I thought I can sustain it but turns out it was just a tool to break me. I now suffer to bad debts , with no work because of my being picky and now being turned down by my own destiny. Before I used to hate my Father now we try to be civil and yah  now I am totally dependent on him and I lost my investments even my dreams... I would always remember how my mom cursed me when we fight and now it feels like it is happening. I coudln't stand on my own two feet and prosper. IT HURTS SO MUCH that my name is now ruined and I couldn't ask for people to help me. I pray a lot but I think God is still busy. I'd like to consider the words that would praise God but to be honest as a Human , I get shaken by the enemies. but I still wanna invest my faith to him just like a mustard seed . I hope it grows and a time would come that I would be able to share my now favorite bible verses. Psalm 118:17 - I shall not die but live, and declare the works of the Lord. Psalm 9:10 - Those who know your name trust in you, For you, Lord , have never forsaken those who seek you. still I Gotta keep holding on!

By the way, you can visit my vlog , it would be of big help to support me and so I can help my family too :  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsy8rVEWm4D0y7jzP-i1TyQ