The Old US

Ever since we parted ways, time flies so fast. I know that in the years we were together we have little happy moments but more sorrows and pain. A year later after we departed , after those so many months I made you so blue, I realized I have loved you truly but I wasn't able to make you feel that way. You were the only apple of my eye and it saddens me that I am nothing now for you... You gave your last name to someone I barely know. I just met her once yet heard her name few times straight from your mouth. I even felt hurt that the so called friends we both have were only loyal to you. I know my name meant nothing to bad image for some but you know what I stayed loyal to you even if you aren't mine anymore. At night , I'd still dream of you in fact my subconscious mind prepared me to what's gonna be your reality. Like how you find someone new to love till the day you both have each other to cherish for a lifetime. Even my dreams would tell me how much you love her and I am left with the reality that you have never been like that to me. I would tell myself to stop and would even dare to delete your memories in my head but my heart... MY HEART KNOWS ONLY YOU. When I am feeling so down , I want to run to your embrace but I try to evade that situation . that when I feel so lonely , I try not to think of you anymore. It works , it works but not all the time. I still know your scent and the way my body memorized my actions towards you, how clingy I can be, how I would rest my head to your shoulders when we were together especially when watching movies,when riding a taxi, when I feel sleepy in jeepney.

There is still no one whom I would like to rest my head... and this might be absurd ! but I just want to let this out for sometime.

I know I have moved on coz come on, IT'S BEEN YEARS ALREADY. and I have to coz All I think was that the years we had together are now being taken over by your memories with her.Thus, There were days I almost forgot about you. Come on, I have buried my feelings for you already. *Sigh, but there were days I still couldn't teach my heart to love someone new. For so long,I stopped browsing you coz when I would accidentally see you all the hurtful moments brings me back to the day I told you to find someone else. 

I guess why I am writing this down is just because I miss You, I miss Us. I know you will always be the best part my past - Those chinky eyes, those front teeth I used to tease, how I miss your breath when talking to me, those hands that will dry my wet palm and how you would scold me when I am being thoughtless. 

I just really miss the days and the old You. The old US.